Facebook Watch Is Here To Quench Our Undying Thirst For Online Video Content

Facebook Watch Is Here To Quench Our Undying Thirst For Online Video Content. On Facebook. You know, because content. Facebook will be creating its own shows. Whether in partnership with a network like A&E or Nat Geo, or a company such as Major League Baseball or Billboard, all of the shows that Facebook has highlighted as its first original programming offerings on Watch are about as appetizing as watching your co-workers sing happy birthday to the office turtle. "More and more people are coming to Facebook in order to watch video," Facebook's director of video product Daniel Danker told Techcrunch, implying that users were clamoring for video. I counter with people haven't been coming to Facebook for video, Facebook has been jamming video down our throats, creators and advertisers and scammers have just taken advantage. When a show fails on Netflix, the company just shrugs (while the fans whine) and makes some better content, or different content. Or just more content. Watching a show doesn’t have to be passive... You'll be able to chat and connect with people during an episode, and join groups with people who like the same shows afterwards to build community."

The government wants Facebook to let you mass delete all your cringe teen posts
Facebook debuts a Twitter-like ‘Latest Conversations’ feature that shows public posts about buzzing topics
How to watch Facebook’s F8 developer conference today
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
  • Buffer
  • Pinterest
  • LinkedIn
Shutterstock

Some evening this week, while some of us were watching re-runs of 30 Rock and ignoring social media, Facebook FB +0.44%

started rolling out its Watch platform, which is so obviously named I shouldn’t have to explain it. It is a platform for shows that you can watch. On Facebook. Are you tingling with excitement? Are you ready for more content? This comes on the heels of Buzzfeed announcing a morning (ugh) news program to air on Twitter TWTR +1.08%. You know, because content.

The Facebook Watch tab will be slowly rolling out to all desktop and mobile users. So your content is coming. Watch will have personalized recommendations of live and recorded shows to watch, because that’s worked so well for targeted advertising. It will have categories like ‘Most Talked About,’ ‘What’s Making People Laugh’ and ‘Shows Your Friends Are Watching.’ Or in alternate terms, ‘content for lemmings’, ‘jokes for simple minds’ and ‘my friends have no taste.’

Here’s the best part of all though. The real gem buried in this content excretion. Facebook will be creating its own shows. Whether in partnership with a network like A&E or Nat Geo, or a company such as Major League Baseball or Billboard, all of the shows that Facebook has highlighted as its first original programming offerings on Watch are about as appetizing as watching your co-workers sing happy birthday to the office turtle. Dripping with thirst to be accepted and laced with sadness and shame.

Let’s take a closer look at some of the original programming Facebook has planned for Watch.

  • Tastemade’s Kitchen Little — cooking show. Meh.
  • Major League Baseball — one game a week. Probably the Rockies.
  • Major League Baseball 12:25 Live” — comedic show with fan input. Hard pass.
  • Mike Rowe — but when will he have time for political rants?
  • Nas Daily — not Nas.
  • A&E’s Bae or Bail — pass.
  • Billboard’s How it Went Down — contrived stories from musicians.
  • David Lopez’s My Social Media Life — who?
  • Golden State Warriors’ Championship Rewind — they won. Get over it.
  • National Geographic’s We’re Wired that Way — not Hoarders.
  • The Dodo’s Comeback Kids: Animal Edition — animal comeback stories. From prize pig to delicious roast.

“More and more people are coming to Facebook in order to watch video,” Facebook’s director of video product Daniel Danker told Techcrunch, implying that users were clamoring for video. Maybe I’m too cynical…

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This